Oral History Interview with Linda Exeler

Exeler 2007OH04.3

Taylor: Can you state your name and how many years you’ve waitressed?

Exeler: My name is Linda Exeler, and I’ve waited tables for 38 years. I’ve been at the Cottage for 25.

Taylor: Can you tell me about how you came to the Colonial Cottage?

Exeler: Well, I was working at a restaurant called Kelly’s Kitchen, and I had gotten pregnant with my little girl and then I needed a job because my husband was in the service. So my aunt was telling me that a friend of hers told her they needed a waitress at the Colonial Cottage so I come down and Mr. Eppison interviewed me. He didn’t want no application, he just said, “Lyn, how many years of experience you have?” I told him. He said, “When can you start?” I said, “I can start today.” He said, “You’re hired.” So I come back at 4:00 and I’ve been here ever since.

Taylor: And how did you get your first waitressing job?

Exeler: Actually the guy up the street had Kelly’s Kitchen. He asked me one day, he said, “Lyn, you know what? Are you looking for a job?” I said, “Yeah, kind of,” and he said, “Would you like to work here?” And I said, “Doing what?” and he said, “Waitin’ tables.” I said, “Oh, I don’t think so.” But he said, “Well, just give it a try.” So the first day I worked, I didn’t know to mark my tables. So when I took all these orders, I had no idea, where they went.

Taylor: How old were you?

Exeler: I was 18. I mean it was so funny [laughing]. So I said to him, “Kelly, I don’t know where all this food goes.” He said, “Didn’t you mark your tables?” I said, “No. You didn’t tell me to do that.” And then I was washing dishes because I was the only waitress he had and I was cooking, you know.

Taylor: So was Kelly’s also in Erlanger?

Exeler: No, that was in West Covington.

Taylor: Kentucky?

Exeler: Yes, Kentucky.

Taylor: So why did you choose waitressing?

Exeler: I didn’t really choose it. They chose me, more or less. I thought well I’ll give it a try. I tell you what, back then I made a big eight dollars a day in tips.

Taylor: And what year was that?

Exeler: That was ‘70….let me see, my daughter was born in ’69, that was ’72. I mean, I have come a long way. You know what I mean?

Taylor: How much was your hourly then?

Exeler: I made…he paid me $2.10 an hour, but after they taxed me I got seventy-five cents an hour, so you know, it wasn’t very much.

Taylor: How did you raise your daughter on that?

Exeler: Well, it wasn’t easy. You know like I said, my husband was in the service, so he sent me like a one-hundred dollar a month, and my mom and my dad helped me. Of course my mom and my dad…I’ve got eight brothers and sisters. So it was like everybody just helped everybody.

Taylor: Are you from Kentucky?

Exeler: Umm hmm.

Taylor: Where?

Exeler: West Covington.

Taylor: And what did your parents do for work?

Exeler: My mom was a nurses’ aide and my daddy was a lift operator at Dixie Ohio Express, it’s like a trucking company. Yeah, he just loaded trucks, worked seven days a week to raise all of us. So I was kind of like a mom anyway and I did everything in the house because I was the only girl between five of my brothers, so I knew how to do whatever…

Taylor: You knew how to do whatever needs to be done.

Exeler: Right.

Taylor: And so when you became a waitress at 18, you had gotten married at 18?

Exeler: Umm hmm. I had gotten married at 18.

Taylor: And you had one daughter?

Exeler: Right.

Taylor: How long did it take for you to get comfortable with the work?

Exeler: Well when I learned to mark my tables, I was on my way. I mean literally on my way [laughing].

Taylor: So how did you take to it?

Exeler: It was just fun, just fun. And the people that I met, actually come in here now. The people that I waited on in Kelly’s Kitchen also come in here. You know like everyday.

Taylor: So you have some customers that you’ve waited on for almost 40 years?

Exeler: Yeah, 38 years, umm hmm. And see they worked down at the barrel factory and they would come up there everyday and they’d come in here. And we had the old Cottage, the little Cottage, you know it was really tiny. And they’d come in and say, ‘Hey Lyn’ and I’d work the counter over there. It was just a lot of fun, I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. I just feel I’ve been a very blessed person. To have the ability and the feelings for people. Yeah, that’s the whole thing with me. And when they come in here, I want to wait on them the way I would want to be waited on. And it’s just like they’re family to me. Even some of the girls that work here, I grew up with them. Maureen Geller, the one standing right there, yeah, I grew up with her down in West Covington.

Taylor: How far is West Covington from here?

Exeler: It’s only about 10 minutes. It’s not very far. But I just feel God gave me a gift, and this is what it turned out to be. And even the customers who come in now, I know everything they eat, everything they drink, we call them on the phone, if the weather’s bad, hoping that they don’t come out. Especially the older people. And then I waited on a gentleman, he was seventy-five years-old and I waited on him until he was a hundred and four years-old and then he finally passed, but I gave him his 100th birthday cake. I mean it was too cool.

Exeler: But then, when Matt took over the restaurant, I was a little skeptical, he was young…

Taylor: How many years had you worked here when that happened?

Exeler: Seventeen. So when he got here, I thought, “I hope he knows what he’s doing.” So him and I had a few little conflicts, because in my heart I feel I know more than he does, you know, because I’m more experienced, but we had our little differences, you know.

Taylor: I think that’s normal, you know. A lot of people who come in and take over restaurants they don’t realize the advantage they have with their more veteran servers.

Exeler: Right. Well you know too, not only do you wait tables, there’s so many things that you have to do, you know and I’m always for my co-worker. If they do something wrong, I back them up 100% and we take care of it. You know, nobody needs to degrade nobody, you know what I’m saying? Because we’re all friends here. You know, it’s family. With Matt’s family, I waited on his dad, or Noel’s dad, his wife and then, Noel and Matt and their kids, it’s like a 4 generation, you know down the road [laughing]. But it’s been great. And then I’ve had some really trying times, some tragedies. I lost my dad and my mom and my brother all in like eight months. But you know what, coming here kind of helped me get over it, because all my customers. I had more flowers from my customers and they all got me cards and when they’d see me come in they’d hug me. I guess I just love people and I love kids. And it’s like a bloodline here. You know what I’m saying? It’s grandpa, dad, mom the kids, you know. It’s just been a great life. And I’ve made a great living. I mean going from eight dollars a day to a hundred and fifty dollars a day. You know that’s pretty amazing. And working for Matt has been really a joy. After I got him straightened out. It took a few…a couple of years to straighten him out with me, because we’ve had our differences.

Taylor: What were some of the major issues?

Exeler: Well you know, certain people that you hire. I wouldn’t know, when they hired somebody, if they was going to stay. I would know immediately, just by their first day, attitude, or just the way they come in, if they’re like, “I’m just here to make my money…” you know, “make enough to get my cigarettes and my beer and out the door I’m going…” you know. I could pace them out, who was going to stay and who wasn’t.

Taylor: So how many servers do you have here on the floor at the same time?

Exeler: Well actually I do the tea room by myself. I do that from 6:30 in the morning until 11.

Taylor: So that’s the counter and how many tables?

Exeler: That I do myself? In the morning? Oh boy [counting], it seats 48 people. And I take care of all of those, plus on Wednesdays and Thursdays, I do the banquet room. I have a breakfast on Wednesdays with 25 people. I serve all of them breakfast and I know what every single one of them eat.

Taylor: Because they come in every Wednesday and Thursday?

Exeler: Yes, they come in every Wednesday and Thursday.

Taylor: And who are they?

Exeler: B and I Group.

Taylor: And who are they?

Exeler: It’s like a business…what’s that stand for….Business International something…they just do jobs and let each other know who does this and that…. they just get together. It’s pretty cool. And I carry the food up the stairs. And they eat the same thing every week. Sometimes I write it down, sometimes I don’t. I just ask them, “Are you going to have your usual?” “Yeah Lyn, yeah.”

Taylor: And where is that room?

Exeler: Right up those steps.

Taylor: So you have to run up and down those steps serving food and serve that whole room over there with 46….

Exeler: Yes, yes. But I can do it. I’ve been doing it for a long, long time.

Taylor: And do they request you, is that why you wait on them? That’s amazing. So how long did it take for you to get organized? Because most people assume that waitressing is a skilless job and we know it isn’t.

Exeler: It’s not. You’ve just got to want to do it. You know you’ve got to want to be here. Which, I love coming to work, you know, and I love waiting on the customers. And I wait on them the way I want to be waited on. But see they’re like moms and dads, you know the way they treat me. I mean they’re all so good to me and I give it right back, because I enjoy it.

Taylor: I think that’s what makes you special, that’s what makes you different.

Exeler: I’m told so many times, “Oh Lyn, you’re so wonderful. Everytime you come in here, you have the same attitude, the same personality.” It’s because I enjoy being here. And it’s hard sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes you get a customer that you couldn’t please if you stood on your head, but you know what, before they leave they’re like, “Thank you for everything.” I don’t let them bring me down, even if they’re having a bad day. If I smile, maybe they’ll…you know…and then a lot of them come in by their self. You know older ladies and older men, and you smile and they like you to take care of them, especially when I say, “Are going to have what you had last week?” If I hadn’t seem ‘em for a week. “Do you remember Linda?” I say, “Oh, yeah. I remember.” You know. “How could I forget?” [laughing]

Taylor: How do you remember?

Exeler: How do I remember? I don’t know? I just put the food with the face. You know. It’s pretty easy when you wait on ‘em everyday, you know the same people, you just remember what they eat, what they drink, you know.

Taylor: It makes your job easier too.

Exeler: Yeah, yeah, if I get real busy, I know what everybody drinks, I take them their drink, I tell them, I stand in the middle of the room and it’s like, “I’ll take everybody’s order at once. We’ll get through this guys.” “Lyn, take your time, take your time. It’s no problem. I have some of ‘em that will get up and get the coffee pot and go around for me. And I’ve got some of ‘em trained. They even clean my tables for me [laughing] I swear to God, they do. It’s a riot.

Taylor: So it is kind of a family atmosphere.

Exeler: Yeah, it is.

Taylor: So the other restaurant, Kelly’s, was it more like a coffee shop, diner?

Exeler: Yeah, yeah, and it was more like neighborhood people that I grew up with.

Taylor: So in your 40 years, you’ve only been at two restaurants?

Exeler: Yeah, 38 years. Yes, two restaurants.

Taylor: So have you ever done any other kind of work?

Exeler: No, I never did want to.

Taylor: Did you ever dream about being anything?

Exeler: No. I think this was my calling. You know, I actually like taking care of people. You know, I took care of my brothers and sisters, ‘cause my momma got real sick. And I was already a waitress, you know what I’m saying, from day one. Since I was 9 years old, I fixed their cereal for ‘em or whatever. It’s just been great. And I love it here.

Taylor: I think that’s amazing. You either take to waitressing or you don’t.

Exeler: But I think you’ve got to wanna take care of people. And I just feel like God’s blessed me with that kind of a personality, you know and that strength to put up with what we do put up with sometime. Because we do have some crazy customers. Like I said, you couldn’t please them one way or the other. And, like I said, Matt, he’s been great to work for, I couldn’t ask for a better boss. And all my friends that work there…I should have been a union stewardess because I back up everybody that doesn’t know what’s going on. You know what I mean? And if I think they’re not being treated fairly, trust me. I’ll be the first one to stand up for them. I’m for the underdog. Because you know what people kind of look down on some waitresses, they feel like…get me this, get me that and I have no problem getting anything. Actually I’ll walk 100 extra miles, you know for ‘em if I had to. That’s how much I enjoy it. And trust me, I get tired, because I get up at 4:00 in the morning everyday and I come here and I open up the doors and I go and get the money. I do everything. I answer the phone, I’ve had to cook, if some of the cooks didn’t show up.

Taylor: So when do you get off?

Exeler: Actually I’m supposed to get off at 2:00, but I’m never out of here before 3:00. I get up at 4:00, and then I get here about 5:30. And then I take care of the register and get the money all set up. And then the phone starts ringing and I get the to-go orders and take care of the people and run upstairs and do my parties. I come back down and if one of the cooks hasn’t showed up to help the regular cook I go back and do the toast, sometimes I’ll go back and do the eggs. It’s like, I can do it all. I can do it all.

Taylor: How many days a week do you work?

Exeler: Four.

Taylor: And how old are you?

Exeler: I’m 56 years old. I just had a birthday.

Taylor: That’s great. When’s your birthday?

Exeler: August 9th, 1950.

Taylor: Is there anything you dislike about waitressing?

Exeler: No, no, nothing.

Taylor: So what about the younger waitresses?

Exeler: Well, sometimes they can…you know…be a….how do I want to say this. When the young waitresses come in you’ve got to check them out and see what their working ethics are, like I said, they want to make their money and go out the door, they don’t have a clue about any side work. I had one waitress come in and she started and I said, “Sweetie before you leave, this is your side work.” [She said] “I’m not mopping a floor for nobody.” Then I said, “Guess what, you don’t want to work for The Cottage.” I said, “’Cause there’s a lot to do.” And if you plan on being a waitress I’m going to sit you down and let you know exactly what you’re up against. I think she stayed 2 days. Her fingernails…she didn’t want to get them all messed up and that’s exactly what her words were [laughing].

Taylor: So why do you think that is? I noticed that when I was waitressing the younger waitresses were so put out by the labor and it was so hard…why do you think that is?

Exeler: I don’t know, a lot of them, they live with their families, their mom and dad and they really don’t have to work. So you know until the time comes, I’ve always had to work. You know all my life, so I thought well I better do something I’m going to enjoy and then like I said, when I started waiting tables, oh my God, it was the best thing I ever did. I’ll tell you what I enjoy. I enjoy the competition, as far as being the best. I want to be the best, you know what I mean and I am the best. Trust me. [laughing] If you see my in action, I’ll tell you what, I am totally awesome.

Taylor: What are some of your character traits that make you so good?

Exeler: Just caring, one thing. When the kids drop milk on the table, for that not to bother me. You know, it’s like accidents happen. Mom and dad gets all bent out of shape. It’s like, you know what, it’s no problem, accidents happen. I’ve had grown-ups spill milk and then I make them clean it up, then they laugh.

Taylor: Do you consider any part of this job any more difficult? Do you get tired, physically?

Exeler: Oh, yeah, everyday. But it’s good exercise, you know if I went to the gym, I’d really get tired. I might as well be here making money.

Taylor: Do you write down orders here, or you do call them in, or do you have computers.

Exeler: We have computers, oh let me tell you about that. Oh my God. First of all Mr. Grimes [owner], says, “We’re going to get computers.” And I have written my checks on paper, take them in and stick them under the light. He said, “We want to get computers.” I said, “Oh, God, I don’t know anything about a computer.” We were crying. We were begging, that he didn’t put them in. You know because none of us knew how to work them, so when he did, I was like, “Oh, I can’t do this. I just can’t do it.” And then I went home and I prayed. And I said…you know I’m Catholic, right, so, “Blessed mother, just make sure that I can do this.” Well then the computer guy comes in okay and he’s back there, you know doing his thing. I said, “Is that really easy?” And he said, “Well, yeah. You’re only going to put in food.” I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve wrote my checks, wrote them out, all these years…30 years. You know, and then we get this computer. So I said to him, “Can I ask you a question? What’s the magic word on this computer? Is it ‘okay?’” He said, “You’re exactly right. Well I’m going to tell you what, I was on my way. As long as I knew the word, ‘okay,’ I was on my way. You know these girls here, I taught them how to do it. I mean we were all crying. It was pitiful. I didn’t even want to come back to work. Because I was so scared that I wasn’t going to be able to. But I come in with an open mind, just checked it out and played with it and I tell you what, I can put 20 orders in, in five minutes, probably less than that [laughing].

Taylor: That’s great. You know a lot waitresses have had problems with that transition because timing is so important and if you’re behind or if you have to figure something out it could cascade in all types of trouble.

Exeler: Right, and I’m very organized. Just like when I set up over there. Everything has to be at my reach, in case I got 20 people that walk in at once. The hostess seats me because everybody asks for me. So I might have 10 tables straight in a row. So I just get all 10 of their orders, pace myself out and get their drinks and everybody’s food comes up in order. Don’t ask me how I do that.

Taylor: So you have a good cook that you can depend on?

Exeler: Umm hmm, oh yeah. These cooks here, they’re awesome. Especially Henry, and he helps me too sometimes. The thing about it too, my girls that work here with me, if I need help, they’re right there. And I help them, no matter what. But as far as getting tired, I get tired, but it’s a good tired. You know I make good money, so.

Taylor: That’s great. You know I’ve been speaking at aging conferences about waitressing is actually keeping these women feeling younger, it keeps them in shape.

Exeler: Do you know I’m the same size when I started waiting tables that I am now? Because it’s good exercise. You know? I mean it’s helping me, it’s helping him [the owner] make good money. You know. I love it.

Taylor: So talk about your clientele? How many people that you serve are regular customers?

Exeler: All of them [laughing]. I mean, I’m just being honest with ya. Yeah, probably fifty percent, seventy-five. My room could be completely full. Even the ones that smoke. They’ll come over here and smoke a cigarette, but they’ll come back over there to eat.

Taylor: When did that change to non-smoking over there?

Exeler: Probably, I think about three years ago.

Taylor: So that must have been a big issue to for the regulars, right?

Exeler: Yeah. Oh, yeah. But they say, “Oh, Lyn I’m going over there to smoke a cigarette, I’ll be right back.” So I just set their coffee up, and I get their order when they’re done smoking. They come over there and eat and then they give me my tip.

Taylor: Do you find you get better tips from your regulars?�

Exeler: Oh yeah. But all of them [non-regulars] tip me excellent. Because even if I don’t know them. I train them. And then they come back. I got ‘em coming from Indiana, they come from Florida, they come up and they say, “I told you, I’d be back to see ya.” Actually just 3 weeks ago, a couple come back from Florida and asked for me. Everybody asks for Linda, everybody. This dining room can be full and this room over here, not one customer. And sometimes I feel bad about it, you know, I really do.

Taylor: But you earned it. You earned it. How long have people waited to sit with you?

Exeler: Oh, probably 20 minutes, you know, they won’t let anybody else wait on them. It’s amazing. And I have a lot of, like, older people in the morning time, George and Marge and Jenny, James…you know I know them all. You know I’ve got their phone numbers. They call me on the phone. It’s just so cute. And like I say when my parents passed away. Oh, my God, you would not believe the cards that were sent to me at my home. People brought flowers and then they sent money to the cancer…at the children’s hospital, because my niece had passed away, during my mom and dad and my brother passed away in between there. It’s just been a lot of…you know, but then when you come down here, myself, I think about other people. I have lots of feelings for people. I really do. I just love it. That’s all I can say, I love it.

Taylor: Can you think about any regulars that stand out in your mind?

Exeler: Well George and Marge. He comes in, he’s got a leg missing and when she got sick, I would take his breakfast out to the car. He would call me on the phone and I would take his breakfast out to the car, so he wouldn’t have to come in and get it. And then there’s Jenny and Jim, they come in everyday and she got sick and he would come down and I’d fix her up, put everything in that she needed, you know there’s just a lot of them that I do special things for. And they do special things for me too.

Taylor: So you’ve never worked for a union restaurant?

Exeler: No.

Taylor: Do you have health insurance?

Exeler: We used to, but we don’t anymore. Matt bought the restaurant and it was kind of expensive, so we just buy our own.

Taylor: So you have your own insurance?

Exeler: Yeah.

Taylor: That’s good. So you’re going through a divorce right now?

Exeler: It’s all over with.

Taylor: How long were you married for?

Exeler: 17 years. Actually this is my fourth husband [laughing]. But I got an excuse for all of them; isn’t that the way it works? I’ve only got one daughter and three grandsons.

Taylor: What does your daughter do for work?

Exeler: She works in a nursing home, she works in an old timers’ unit.

Taylor: How old is she?

Exeler: She’s 37…gorgeous, georgeous.

Taylor: She also wants to help people.

Exeler: Oh yeah. She’s a lot like I am. She’s not as upfront. You know, I can be really boisterous, when I have to, which I really don’t like to. But you know when duty calls, I have to do it, or say it, but I do it in a nice way. But I don’t just blurt it out to the girls, I take them in the back and tell them if you have any problems with whatever, I’m here to help you. I’m not here to put you down. You need help mopping the floor? I can mop the floor. You know what I mean? It’s called team work. And if you don’t have team work, doing this kind of work, nobody gets taken care of.

Taylor: What sidework do you have to do?

Exeler: Well we have to sweep and mop and make sure everything’s clean. One thing I am, is a cleaning fanatic. When Matt first took over the place, he’d say, “Linda, you’ve got to stop that. You can’t tell these girls they’ve got to do…” “Well let me tell you what, if the health department comes in here sweetheart [sarcastic tone]…” Well that’s how I talk to Matt. And him and I are pretty good friends….now [laughs].

Taylor: Well he respects you.

Exeler: Yes, and I respect him.

Taylor: He just couldn’t wait to tell me how special you were. He’s the reason why I’m interviewing you. I think he contacted me because he heard about it from someone else that I was doing this project and he contacted me and said, “I want you to interview this woman. When was your last vacation?

Exeler: I’m on vacation now. I come back Monday.

Taylor: Did you go anywhere?

Exeler: Yeah, I went to Myrtle Beach. I tell you what, I needed a break.

Taylor: Yes, you look tan.

Exeler: Oh, my God. I had the best time, it was wonderful.

Taylor: That’s great, because some waitresses don’t take vacations.

Exeler: Well I haven’t had one in 4 years. Because with Matt and all I didn’t want to leave him in a bind and trust me, those two weeks, I’ve left him in a bind. I told him I won’t take a vacation no more from work in a while. He said, “Okay.” [laughing]

Taylor: Do you have any plans for retirement?

Exeler: Not really. I’d like to wait tables as long as I can. You know I don’t want to do it when I’m 70, but at least ‘til 62, maybe…and maybe longer, but I’m a little miser when it comes to my money. I save my money. You have to when you make money everyday. You have to put back so much, so you can pay this and pay that.

Taylor: Do you rent or own your house?

Exeler: I just bought a mobile home and it’s beautiful. I just had all new carpet put in it, all new hardwood floors, it is awesome.

Taylor: What kind of car do you drive?

Exeler: I drive a Chrysler Sea Breeze convertible, which I was blessed because my daddy got if for me before he passed away. It was my inheritance, you know. He said, “I know you’ve always wanted a convertible. Please buy one,” so I did. And I paid cash for it. So I don’t owe nothing there either. I’ve been very fortunate; I’ve been blessed all my life. Just being the person that I am because I love people. When I had my daughter, I was just like, “give me one little girl…” of course you know you take care of her the rest of your life. And she’s got three sons, I have three grandsons, 20 years old 18 and 16,

Taylor: That’s great.

Exeler: Were you pleased with everything?

Taylor: You were just great, one of my favorite Kentucky waitresses. I love your nails.

Exeler: Thank you. Tell you what these things don’t last very long when you’re rolling silverware. I had them done like that for vacation. This is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened in my life. No I’ve had a lot of exciting things happen in my life.

Taylor: Well I think it’s important to honor waitresses and their contribution, you know how people don’t really appreciate mom’s? I think it’s similar with waitresses.

Exeler: Exactly. And you know what, you really are a mom when you’re waiting tables. You know you’ve got to put up [with], “I don’t want this. I told you no mayonnaise, come on, you know.” “Okay, sweetheart, I’ll get it taken off.” You just have to have a lot of patience when you wait tables.

Taylor: I like your glasses.

Exeler: My glasses are .99 specials [bright red rims] and I have two pair, so the kids can play with a pair and I just need them for the computer, that famous computer [laughing]. These are my everyday [she puts them on], they call me Sally Rafael, you know that talk show?

Taylor: Oh Sally Rafael. That’s right, she wore red glasses.

Exeler: Would you mind taking pictures of all of us together? Like Kathy, who’s been here and the other co-workers?

Taylor: Oh sure, we can do that.

Exeler: Wouldn’t that be nice? And Matt…because you know what, they’re important to me and I’d like for them to be kind of in with all this. And this one here Maureen [walks to the table] I told her we grew up together [laughing] she’s my buddy. And you know what tickles me about my co-workers, if they have problems, they always come to me. Like I say, I am so spiritual with the blessed mother stuff, I really am, she does everything in the world for me. You would not believe how blessed I am. I feel good everyday and I don’t even work on it, it comes natural.

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